begining to wonder... why recently i am so emotional? I simply listen to a sad song... my tears will automatically flow.. this is getting too sucky.. everyone is telling me to be strong.. and i tried and tried and tried.. but i failed... =(

ryan is going for trip this weekend.. it has been a long time since his last dives.. just want him to enjoy this trip and take a break from me.. cos i think i have been showing my sianzness to him.. although he say he understand how i feel, who can really understand what i am feeling and going through? it is more than what other people see it from the surface..

every morning i have to wake up early... and now i feed lucky his medicine until i pek cek. I will scold him.. and even thought of giving up.. just dun feed! he dun want to eat... then dun eat.. spent a lot of money on it.. JUST WASTE IT BA! but i just see him.. can't even stand up.. it hurts me so much...

tomo lucky is going for acupuncture again.. need money again.... i think ask the vet to do it on me instead... i need to destress....